Given my performance at session #1, it's not looking too good. I just want to be free of the cult burdens. I'll even go so far as to accompany the wife to all the meetings, so long as no further expectations are imposed upon me save sitting there and ignoring everybody, which I wanted to do anyway.
I hate that you still seem to be looking at this as some kind of a defeat, Christopher.
Getting out of the borg is a win for you and if your wife is patient with you and is willing to do her duty as the JWs lay it out for her, you'll have time to show her that it's a win for her, too. You WILL be a better husband for it. You ARE already a good person. You DO love her.
You DON'T owe the elders or the congregation ANYthing. You don't even have to show up at the next JC meeting.
If you are going to be resigned to let whatever happens happen, then REALLY do that. Just let it happen. Don't let the flow of the world carry you in its current; STOP, stand still, and just observe it. Let it flow until the torrent is a mere wading trickle and then walk barefoot in the cooling freshness of a new life.
Here's a little something I read earlier today. Maybe it can help you a little.
"Empty the self completely;
Embrace perfect peace.
The world will rise and move;
Watch it return to rest.
All the flourishing things
Will return to their source.
This return is peaceful;
It is the flow of nature,
An eternal decay and renewal.
Accepting this brings enlightenment,
Ignoring this brings misery.
Who accepts nature's flow becomes all-cherishing;
Being all-cherishing he becomes impartial;
Being impartial he becomes magnanimous;
Being magnanimous he becomes natural;
Being natural he becomes one with the Way;
Being one with the Way he becomes immortal:
Though his body will decay, the Way will not."